Rylet's Stuff! I am a trans guy who recently quit t. I decided to start this journal so that other people can read a bit on what it is like to stop!

Tuesday, March 19, 2002 :::
I am a trans guy. I am not going to go into the definitions of things or go into a long list of resources. The reason for this is because there are so many sites and pages full of the same resources. I will simply tell you that you can go to google and do searches for FTM International, or just simply type in transgender or FTM. I am not writing this to be a resource for learning about a transition, I am writing this as a resource for guys who want to learn about stopping hormones.

I was on testosterone for 18 months. I stopped about 2 months ago. Before I was on T, I had a bad history of endometriosis and ovarian cysts. I lost my right ovary because of these problems. I also had several emotional problems pre-t. I was healthier physically and mentally than I have ever been while I was on T. I stopped because I felt that I had gone as far in my transition as I would like to go for now. I see my gender as very neutral and felt that continuing my transition would be once again, struggling to fit in a binary box that I don’t fit in.

The first month off of T was great. I did not have any physical or emotional problems. I went to True Spirit and the day after I got back to Michigan, I went into the hospital. I found out that I had a cyst that burst on ovary and a tumor on my uterus. I don’t know if this has anything to do with my quitting t or not, like I said, I have a history of this. For the next month, I was in a pretty constant pain. I also notice that week that I lost a lot of the muscle that I had gained and about 5 pounds. About two weeks ago, the pain became constant and got worse each day. I looked around and found virtually no resources for guys that quit t, so I decided to start this live journal.

I went back to the hospital last Thursday. They found that another cyst had grown and either was bleeding into my ovary or my ovary was bleeding into it. I don’t remember which. They were going to do a hysterectomy on me that night, but at the last minute, they decided that surgery was not absolutely necessary for that night and that they would like to discuss a hormonal treatment plan before surgery. If a female body has a hysterectomy, they need to have some sort of hormonal replacement therapy in order to keep their bones healthy and avoid moodiness and hot flashes. By the way….yes, I have been VERY moody! So, now I am looking for a doctor that I can do this with.

We have what we call the Comprehensive Gender Services Program here. (CGSP) They are basically a monopoly. They have set their program up so that trans people have to be in their program in order to receive any kind of medical care. I have been refused medical care (not pertaining to my transition) twice now. While I was in the hospital, the gyno team called the gyno that is affiliated with the CGSP. He said “I will not operate on him unless he joins the program.” Joining this program means being in therapy with their therapists throughout your entire transition. Oh, but wait! I STOPPED my transition! Regardless…it’s a really fucked up thing.

So, I still have not found a doctor to help me. I am still in a lot of pain. They prescribed a hormone to reduce the cyst, and still think I should have surgery. I will continue to journal my changes and medical situation. For others to read if they should be interested in learning about stopping t. Just keep in mind that I am probably different than everyone else because of my history of health problems.

::: posted by Ryan at 6:24 PM


I am a trans guy who recently quit t. I decided to start this journal so that other people can read a bit on what it is like to stop!

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